On Wednesday, Oct. 16, 2013, I was watching Lisa Lampanelli do stand-up for an HBO comedy special. If you know anything about Ms. Lampanelli, you’ll know she’s not exactly…demure. Raunchy is a better adjective. Offensive even. Inappropriate for children. But not demure.
I had just indulged in a bowl of a particularly sugary cereal and laid down on my left side to better take in the unwholesome entertainment. I mean, if you’re going to be bad, you should just go all the way. 🙂
And that’s when I felt him for the first time. Two quick little pops. And I say pops because it sort of felt the way popcorn feels when it comes screaming out of a hot air popper and hits your arm. It’s so light and fast, you almost think you didn’t feel it at all. I would have written it off as yet another twinge, but then it happened again in rapid succession.
That was no round ligament pain. In fact, it wasn’t painful at all. Just like popcorn popping against the inside of my belly.
But, I second guessed it. I mean, I’ve never been pregnant before. How was I to know if it was my baby’s movement or not? Maybe it was some, new strange version of pregnancy gas. Maybe the sugary cereal (it was generic Golden Crisp for the record) didn’t agree with me. Or maybe I was having a physical reaction to Lampanelli’s caustic humor.
That night, when we laid down to sleep and began playing baby some music, I felt it again. But not in the same spot. This was lower in my belly than the previous sensation. And I thought, maybe it was the baby. But then I started the pledge drive and was so busy, I didn’t feel anything else for days. My husband said I was just so busy with work, I probably wasn’t noticing it. He must have been right.
Once the drive was over, I noticed the fluttering, popcorn sensation again. That was my baby. He was moving his little arms and legs, headbutting me through the uterus, making his presence known. So, of course, I had to research it.
And do you know what they call the first time you feel the baby’s movement?
HERE WE ARE, BORN TO BE KINGS.
WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!
If you’re not a fan of the movie, “Highlander,” that reference means nothing to you. But suffice it to say that The Quickening is considered EPIC. I know I feel moved every time I feel the baby move. There’s a living creature inside me, bursting full of potential. He’s forming at this very moment and has gained the ability to make his presence known to me. I’m the only person on Earth who knows what it feels like when this particular, tiny person moves.
It’s humbling. It’s an honor. Soon his father will be able to feel him move on the outside. But right now, it’s like some kind of secret. There’s no way for me to make anyone else understand or feel our child’s movements exactly the way I do. It’s a privilege of motherhood that I am so glad to have been able to attain. There was a time when I thought this would never happen for me. I’m so grateful.
I thought that last paragraph would be the end of this post, but on Oct. 29th, I felt the baby kick for the first time! I was sitting at my desk at work, drinking some ginger ale and doing data entry. He had been squirming and flipping for a while. It was the most movement I’d felt from him yet. And then, with no preamble, a kick!
You know how when your hand strikes something unfamiliar in the dark, and you want to jerk away from it? And that feeling you get of alarm that spikes in your tummy and radiates out? It was like that. I actually jumped in my chair, as if I could jump away from my baby’s kick. 😛
I just so happened to have been chatting with my husband on Facebook at that exact moment. So even though he can’t feel his son moving at the moment, he sort of got to experience it with me. And later that night, after dinner, our boy kicked me again. I didn’t jump quite as much, but it’s still a surprise when it happens. 🙂
I’m grateful to know he’s safe and healthy. The kicking and squirming reassures me. So grateful.