Cycle day 31 with no sign of Aunt Flo. Was tempted to test again this morning but I held off. I wouldn’t believe the results anyway. So instead, I’m trying to funnel my energy in other directions. Like baking muffins at 3:30 AM. Anxiety dreams— who needs ’em?
Like many folks, I read my horoscope in the mornings. It’s delivered to my Facebook feed daily. And this was what was posted this morning:
Your subconscious mind is playing tricks on you today. Yes you should, no you shouldn’t, yes you should … you can’t make up your mind about anything right now. So why knock yourself out over it? If the choice is not a matter of life or death, you can afford to put it off for a bit.Not that I put a lot of faith in horoscopes on Facebook that are accompanied by cartoon cows. But I thought it was suspiciously timely.
Since we’re NTNP (Not Trying, Not Preventing) I shouldn’t even be holding out hope this cycle. I should be concentrating on my belly dance solo this weekend. Baking quiche for a work brunch tomorrow. Hanging out with my friends and watching RiffTrax tonight.
And I will do those things. But in the back of my mind, there will be a tiny place where I anxiously hope and pray and check and recheck— but not test.
Though I’ve decided that I most certainly will test before Valentine’s Day if mother nature doesn’t provide the conclusive evidence for me before then. I wish I didn’t already have a cute idea to reveal auspicious information to my husband on Valentine’s Day. But I do have a plan. Even though I probably won’t have a reason to implement it.
Until then, no testing! You heard the magical star cow!
Hungry For Motherhood 