Saturday in my neck of the woods was just yucky. Rainy..a little cold. Autumn at its most gloomy. And then Sunday dawned beautiful, brisk and bright! We had to take advantage of the gorgeous weather and try to make one of those family moments that Pinterest parents have made so attractive (if impossible to attain.) So we, along with every other parent in the entire state, went to a pumpkin patch!
I thought we’d take the hay ride out to the patch proper and pose Gibs with rows of pumpkins to immortalize his cuteness forever. We showed up at about 11:30 AM. The lines for the hayride were already wrapping around the barn. No, thank you. We’ll skip the patch this year and just buy our pumpkins at the market. Eat a pumpkin donut. Drink a cider slush. Blend in with all the other parents pushing strollers and wearing their kids. Try to avoid eye contact with the boy scouts selling their popcorn. You know… like everyone else.
We were propping Gibs up on a pallet filled to the brim with comically huge pumpkins when IT happened. You know what I’m talking about. The smell of apple cider and pumpkin spice fell away and all I could smell was my son’s dirty diaper. The market had a bathroom. And though it wasn’t a true diaper changing station, there was at least a counter top in the ladies bathroom on which I could change Gibs. Not a problem. Done this a hundred times before.
The best decision we made that day was to NOT go on the hay ride. If the carnage I found in that diaper had happened in the middle of a field, I’m not sure we would have made it back from the patch intact. And you know, volume I can handle. It’s my fault for giving him prunes the day before, after all. But it’s Gibs’ new habit that made the diaper change so challenging.
He likes to reach down and investigate his diaper area now while the diaper is off. I know that babies will be curious about their bodies. It’s totally normal and natural for him to explore all of his appendages. However, when there’s a soiled diaper involved, things could get messy. At home, on my changing table, I can keep his hands away. But in a busy bathroom, right next to the sink with moms lifting their toddlers and shorter children up to wash their hands, I was so distracted, Gibs got a big handful of his own….stuff.
As I used wipe after wipe to try to clean the bulk of the mess away, I didn’t see that his coated hand was now busy making modern art on his tee shirt. Thankfully I did catch it before he managed to shove his hand into his mouth.
It was all over me. ALL OVER him. He was crying. Moms were laughing at our situation because they’d all been there before. I had to resort to using paper towels from the dispenser next to me to finally get a handle on the diaper situation. Then I had to give the poor kid an entire new outfit thanks to the Ofili-esque endeavors. I wiped and wiped and wiped his fingers, hoping nothing was stowing away under his tiny nails to be nibbled on later. Fingers crossed I got it all.
Of course, The Man was completely oblivious to the chaos in the ladies room until I stormed out with a wailing baby and thrust the poor kid into his father’s arms so that I could got BACK into the bathroom and repack the diaper bag. All our supplies and dirty clothes were now strewn over the counter top that served as a diaper changing station. I couldn’t just leave it in that state. My conscience wouldn’t have let me.
We finished up our pumpkin purchases fairly quickly after that. Gibs was in a great mood. I was frazzled and a bit hungry. But as we walked back to the car, The Man brought Gibs into the air over and over again making our baby laugh. They were quite a sight against the gorgeous blue skies. So I made them stop for a a picture. We may have had the dirtiest diaper and the messiest change in our short history while out in public, but we did make some memories. And since that’s what we set out to do, I’ll take it.
I’ll be drawing the winner of the $25 Amazon Gift Card this Thursday (October 16, 2014!)
There’s still time to enter. Just comment on the blog post in this link with your planned Halloween costume.
With only 8 entries so far, you’ve got pretty good odds!
AHHHAHAHAAAHAHAH. Also, I am sorry you had to go through that. But yeah. That’s how that goes. And you handled it like a pro.
Thanks! I kept telling Gibs that this was the story I was going to tell his dates in the future.