At the bare minimum, you need two things to survive a baby shower when you are in your own battle with infertility.
1.) A smile
Really I suppose it could be any alcoholic beverage of choice, but a small bottle of vodka is what I sneaked into the baby shower I attended this past weekend. I’m sure the other women in attendance knew I was buzzed, but hey- if you’re not making a scene no one is going to kick you out. At least they won’t kick you out if you brought a gift.
And if I was going to add one more thing to this list it would be:
3.) Supportive friends
Who won’t tattle on you for bringing vodka to a baby shower and will probably drink it with you. At least that’s the caliber of my friends who totally helped me drink said vodka. We slipped it into the fresh raspberry punch. It totally worked. I find clear liquors are easier to mix on the sly. And vodka in particular is hard to smell when you’re clearing away half empty cups after a party is over.
And thanks to these three things, I did not cry even once! I ooohed and aaahed over every gift. I was even able to update the mom-to-be on my own NTNP (Not Trying Not Preventing) situation without hysterics.
I was not the only woman at the baby shower who is facing her own uphill battle to motherhood. She and I were able to discuss the infertility treatments we are employing or have employed in our mutual pursuit. She didn’t drink vodka (that I could tell.) It would have been rude for me to ask how she was making it through this baby shower without a crutch. But she couldn’t smile as much as I was able to. So I’m going to stick with my vodka therapy for all subsequent baby showers.
4.) Do something fun after the baby shower is over
Finally, I think the key to making sure you leave a baby shower with high spirits is to then do something fun for yourself. And for me and my girlfriends, that was taking a private lesson in burlesque dancing. And maybe making a personal purchase. *raises eyebrows suggestively*
The ostrich feather fans really do make you feel like a rock star. I highly recommend taking the opportunity to have fun and appreciate yourself if you’re battling infertility like me. And if you end up topless in a dance studio a couple hours after the baby shower is over, then you should give yourself a pat of the back. Give yourself a hug if you manage to not cry. And buy yourself a treat if you need one.
I’m not a doctor, but if you’re hungry for motherhood, I prescribe this treatment.
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At M’s first birthday over the weekend a friend told me they were trying (and trying and trying). Insurance is making things difficult. The whole thing is frustrating and incredibly unfair! Do you know any online resources, forums, blogs currently TTC, not so much SAIF- I want her to know she is not alone. I will of course send her your way 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear that. I know what she’s going through. Here are some ‘pro’ resources with communities that can be supportive.
The forums on Fertility Friend: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/
The Forum on TCOYF: http://www.tcoyf.com/forums/
And for buying cheap ovulation testing kits: http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/
Here are some of my favorite TTC blogs. They are inspiring, sad and everything in between.
I hope your friend gets her wish soon. Sending baby dust her way.
And to you as well!!! Thank you!